Letting go of a dream…

I went to the boat today, the first time I have managed to see her for ages.  I can’t moor her near home for a number of reasons, so she is nearer where I used to live.  When I bought her, it was when I thought that the forseeable future was in Birmingham and there was a high likelihood that I would eventually be striking out alone and living on her.

She was the perfect solution; affordable, feasible and the fulfilment of a long-held dream.  The shenanigans I went through to get her are at the start of this blog, so if you want to catch up, the story is all here.

Then life changed; instead of living a life alone to get what I needed at the time, you came into it and everything was different within a matter of weeks.  In the event, the boat was the getaway vehicle, the honeymoon destination (as it were), but was not a long-term solution.

Since I’ve been here, the feasibility of keeping her has been diminishing rapidly; I have far less disposable income and there are a whole host of other commitments.  She is now a massive luxury that I don’t think I have the time or the money to devote to properly.

So I must let go of the dream.  When I have completed some of the work that I began on her a few short months ago, I will be taking her back through Birmingham to find a suitable broker’s yard and sell her.  There was so much I wanted to do with her; take her along the industrial paths of the city and see them from a new perspective, use her as a retreat, even use her for some musical fun (that’s a fairly long story).

But those are the dreams that are to be put aside in favour of others.  At least I suppose I sampled the dream, even if only for a short while.  I wasn’t to know how huge a turn-round my life would take.

I’m incredibly sad.  She was to be a huge part of my life and I can’t see any way of keeping her.  Having her for the summer would have been the ideal, but I don’t think I can wait that long.

I don’t expect that I will see her more than a couple of times before she goes off to be sold.  I hope that the next owner will have less of a turbulent time while she is in their life.