Sideways or backwards?

With my well-developed contingency planner’s head on, I am trying to evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of leaving the NHS and doing something else.  So far I have come up with the following:

Advantages

* could have more autonomy/self-determination/freedom

* could have more job satisfaction/interest/enjoyment

*could be in a non-target driven environment (this is important for me)

Disadvantages

* possible loss of pay

* probable loss of annual leave (this could be quite a large amount, so needs considering)

* not doing trade union work

At the moment, the advantages and disadvantages are fairly equal, so I am in a quandary.  All of these things matter to me, with one edging ahead in importance; the trade union work.

I’m very sure that if I could do doing this work for all or most of the time, I would be perfectly content.  Not only am I in a position of authority where I can be proactive and change things,  it satisfies my altruistic side, my sense of justice, my desire to do something positive for others.

I truly don’t know what to do for the best.  I have made huge inroads this week, but is that temporary? Would it be possible to keep up this level of input into this work?  I know what I am doing is appreciated; I feel I can make a difference – but what of the rest of The Job (the “real” job, that is, the one that I most definitely don’t enjoy).  Can I get enough time away from that?

Would moving away now be another sideways or backward step – or would it be the best move I have ever made?

For the first time ever, I can understand the people I used to give tarot readings to (and still do, occasionally).  They wanted to be told the best way forward, whether it was in regard to a broken relationship, broken home or broken job.  Now I wish someone would do the same for me, turn me round to face the signpost that will show me the direction to go next.

I can’t afford to make any more wrong choices; I can’t afford another piece of bad luck in relation to a job; Heaven knows I have had enough already over my working life.  My sense of natural justice makes me want to rail against life when I feel it is not treating me fairly; I acknowledge the abundance it has given me in some ways but don’t know how to dodge the proverbial slings and arrows.