Finding a safe haven

I’ve just been doing a bit of work in someone else’s vacant office. It was like entering a sanctuary and it reminded me sharply how much I valued having my own working space. The office I work in is not even a cube farm; it’s completely open and there is no privacy whatever.

This is nothing against the people I work with; they are all terribly nice, but I want (need! – in the case of the trade union duties) my own space.

Funnily enough, the noise doesn’t bother me at all; there is constant tapping on keyboards, but often not a huge amount of chatter as She doesn’t like people to talk and often pointedly slams Her office door when there is conversation going on outside.

It’s not going particularly well – I’m not referring to the work itself; since my duties changed that has been an awful lot more interesting and if I don’t get to keep them after August, I will be gutted. However, I am still working for Her and until that ceases, whatever relief I get is only temporary.

She has returned to the insidious harassment. Yesterday it was that my mobile phone (which I have to use to carry out my union duties) was “disturbing people and there have been complaints”. At a rough guess, this is complete rubbish and made up to enable her to have another go at me. She was quick to point out that I am still “Her” member of staff and therefore still under her (comprehensive) control.

She tried to say she wanted me to limit my availability to one hour a day, which I turned down immediately as the whole point of trying to be an advocate for others is to be available to them when they need help.

Paranoid? I don’t think so. It is blatantly obvious from Her body language that She really dislikes me. maybe She sees me as a threat; God knows why as I don’t have the faintest interest in Her job. I’m sure She thinks I am “disruptive” because I like to communicate with people and have opinions on most things. Well, that is me

I have to deal with Her by going into “neutral” mode; I can give away very little of what I am thinking or feeling and I suppose it could be described as a poker face accompanied by similar body language. Maybe She would like to know what I am thinking as She wants to control every other aspect of the poor sods who work for Her.

Tough. While I am in Her company She will know what I want her to know and nothing else.

What really does bother me though, is Her agenda in all this. Am I “just” another person to command and control or is there something more complex going on here?

Best case scenario: she is a screwed-up, baggage-laden, drink-dependent mess who just does the same thing on everybody who is unlucky enough to manage her. I know from other people here that she has already systematically (but very carefully) bullied and harrassed most of them. However, like most practised bullies she is clever enough to make proof difficult.

Worst-case scenario: she has lured me in by saying that she fully supported my trade union work, but there is a hidden agenda and she actively wants to get at me because of what I do and what I represent (which I suppose, could be interpreted as freedom; stark contrast to her desire for control!). I know that she has already talked about me behind my back, as the people she has spoken to have told me.

I’m aware that people in my position have been systematically destroyed; that’s no exaggeration and I think I have to be mindful of this.

At the moment, I can do very little right and I am going to start keeping records of it.